The Toronto Globe and
Mail published a column [6 September 2012] by a psychologist, Dr. Joti
Samra, in which she responds to a mother who had asked for advice because her
12-year old son still believes in Santa Claus and, while it is endearing and
embarrassing simultaneously, she was reluctant to break his spirit by telling
him the truth.
Dr. Samra urged the mother to tell her son Santa was not
real, noting that one of the amazing things about children is the innocence and
enthusiasm of their beliefs and their awe at the wonders of the world, but that
the duty of the parent is to help prepare them for the real world. She observed that the way to approach the
issue is to gently explain that the Santa myths have historical roots in the 4th
Century bishop St. Nicolas who was admired and recognized because he gave gifts
secretly to those who were less fortunate and were in need, and then to help
her son move beyond the Santa story to appreciate the value of unconditional
gift-giving and the true spirit of Christmas which lives in us all when we give
to others.
As is common for newspaper
articles, readers commented on the story and I was fascinated by the range of
comments, which can be categorized into several distinct groups: (a) Mom is the
naïve one here because no 12-year old that is not living under a rock could
possibly believe in Santa; her son is merely pretending because he has concluded
there is some advantage in getting gifts from a pretend Santa. (b) It is wonderful that there are kids who
are so innocent of the hard realities of the world that we should let them continue
to believe without destroying their innocence so long as it is possible for
them because there is no point in discomforting them before they are ready for
the truth. (c) As kids mature they give up their belief in Santa
Claus as the jolly elderly elf who travels all over the world with his sleigh
driven by flying reindeer and his sack of gifts for good children everywhere,
so why as adults do they hold to the even more unbelievable story of a god who manages
the events of the world and picks winners and losers, invisible guardian angels
who fly, the son of the god born to a virgin, and a god who came back from the
dead and now sits on a heavenly throne and will come back one day to judge the
living and the dead.
As I contemplated these
responses from the standpoint of a humanist who chooses the life and teachings
of Jesus as a model for ethical values but who does not buy into the mythical
structure of traditional Christianity, I had some reflections from my early experience
that might be helpful to parish clergy.
A very long time ago when I
was a student at a theological seminary in Rochester, New York, many students
struggled with issues of faith and belief, which was one of the purposes of
theological seminary (at least among the responsible seminaries!), and some
seminarians who found they no longer believed the traditional theology found it
was easier to pretend to believe than it was to give up their vocation and
disappoint their friends and family.
Many of them chose to affiliate with liturgical denominations such as
the Episcopalians/Anglicans, where they could say “the church believes” rather
than “I believe.”
Early in my career, when I
was chairman of the department of religion of an educational institution in New
England I had a friend who was chaplain of a Catholic educational institution
nearby that was run by a religious order and attached to a grotto of Mary that
sold souvenirs and religious trinkets.
From conversations with him I knew that he did not believe that these
trinkets had any actual spiritual value, so I asked him how he dealt with the
fact that his religious order continued to sell these trinkets and encourage
believing in their efficacy. His
response surprised me. The people who
come to the grotto are a very simple people, he said, like children, with very
simple beliefs. They don’t ask any
questions and they are comfortable in their belief so why should we disturb
them in their innocence and naivete?
Ah, the endearing innocence of children. How comforting it is that our children are secure
in their childhood beliefs in incredible stories and myths even as we know that
the hard realities will intrude on them soon enough as they mature and outgrow
them, some sooner, some later, but as that 1st Century Saint Paul (not Saint Nicolas!)
reminds us—all of us must eventually become adults intellectually and
spiritually and put behind us our childish beliefs. That is all a part of the business of growing
up spiritually.
And what is more incredible (“too improbable to be
believed”) than the myth of a virgin giving birth to the son of a god who turns
out to be the god himself, expecting
this god to help you win the next ball game or the next election or the war
your nation fights against your neighbor.
What is more unbelievable than the claim that a collection of religious texts
written two millennia ago was actually written by a god, or that a man wearing
imperial robes and carrying a golden shepherd’s staff can act on behalf of a
god as his emissary, or that the course of an illness or history will be
changed because you asked for it. The
gullibility and the arrogance of such claims are monstrous. They make the naivete of children seem so
much more preferable, because at least the children outgrow their childish
views.
Why don’t the same persons who are able to outgrow their
childish views of Christmas not similarly outgrow their childish views about
religion?
To my fellow clergy, who are reluctant to break the spirits
of members of their congregation, you should need no reminder that the naïve
beliefs of adults in your congregations are not endearing. By using ambiguous language to avoid the
issues you are prolonging their growth to maturity and interfering with the
mandate of Saint Paul to put aside childish views and grow up into a mature
faith that does not depend on mythology.
Borrowing from Dr. Samra, we suggest to our fellow clergy that the way
to approach the issue is to gently explain that the Christian myths have
historical roots in the 1st Century Jesus of Nazareth who was admired and
recognized as a great teacher of love and compassion toward those who were less
fortunate and were in need, and then to help their congregations move beyond
the Christian mythology to appreciate the value of unconditional love and
affirmation of others which is the true spirit of Christianity, which for the
true Christian should live in them.
What we wish for this Christmas is not that its myths be
taken seriously, but rather that the spirit of generosity and kindness that
underlies the spirit of Christmas become a reality in and for all of us, that
the hungry are fed with bread and meat and not with empty promises, that the
prisoners are visited with a spirit of reform of the human heart and not with
promises of heavenly salvation, that the sick be visited with comfort and
health care for all and a commitment to fight against the many illnesses that
plague us, that the homeless find shelter accompanied by rehabilitation and job
training and forbearance of foreclosures and evictions, and that the
politicians sit down with each other and stop acting like children and get on
with the business of compromise necessary to move us forward.
For all we wish joy, happiness and peace in the New Year –
but we will not hold our breath waiting for it to happen.
